Even though the mundane and over demanding life doesn’t let him visit Sivagiri often still Johny ML carries a part of Sivagiri in him. Johny ML shares how a small hill in Kerala could both be a literary learning and how lost in its pious silence he could find himself.
I did my pre-degree (today’s +2) at the Sree Narayana College, near Sivagiri, Varkala. There were four groups of discipline for the pre-degree course namely, First Group (Mathematics, Science and Languages), Second Group (Science and Languages), Third Group (History, Economics and languages) and Fourth Group (Commerce, Accountancy and Languages). There was a humble Fifth Group in which subjects like Home Science were taught. There were not too many job options in those days. Aspiring middle class parents wanted their children to be future engineers and doctors. So, the intelligent ones amongst the students vied for first and second groups in order to become engineers and doctors respectively. Brooding types went for third group and fourth group was opted by the ones who had already found their destiny as future clerks. Fifth group was preferred mainly by girls who had failed to score good marks in school final examinations and had thought that their journey as students would soon end with the impending marriages.
In fact, I wanted to leave studies altogether for I found mathematics too complicated, science too tedious, history, a complex jumble of dates and achievements, commerce (oh God, it was a blasphemous word) and home science, so pathetic. But I had to live up to the expectations of so many people around. That was one curse for being a good student in school; you had to prove that you are good forever. To summarize the story, I decided to save future bridges and buildings and took up second group, thinking that one day I would become a doctor. Ariens get bored of things quite easily. By the end of two years in college, I had already weeded out the possible doctor in me. In graduation I studied English Literature.
The year I joined the Sivagir Sree Narayana College was eventful. It was in mid 1980s. A student agitation was going in full momentum. The government had decided to detach pre-degree from colleges and was planning to bring it under a separate board. Habit was the marker then. None wanted to remain in schools after tenth class. The agitation was to protect pre-degree as pre-degree. The agitation went on for a few years and as expected pre-degree courses got detached from colleges and a new educational system of plus two and vocational higher secondary was put in place. To cut the long story short, there were virtually no classes. The daily ritual of going to college and joining the protest continued for a long time. Once the principal declared that the classes were dispersed, I joined the procession of students who walked back to the bus stand which was a few kilometers away.
But I never went back home immediately. Instead I went to Sivagiri hills where the Samadhi of Sree Narayana Guru was located. The great sage and social reformer had set up a ‘math’ there in that hillock in 1904. He preached and worked for social reformation from there. He bid farewell to this world in 1928. People from all over the world come to Sivagiri to pay homage to Sree Narayana Guru.
Sivagiri literally means the Hill of Shiva. From the capital city of Thiruvananthapuram, one has to travel approximately sixty kilometers by road or rail to reach Sivagiri. It is around eight kilometers away from the Papanasam Beach (now a world famous beach) and the famous Janardana Swami Temple. Varkala Thurappu, the first waterway of Kerala is just at the foot of Sivagiri. Cashew Nut and coconut groves give a green cover to the hills around it. At the beginning of Sivagiri one could see Sarada Math where the goddess of vidya (knowledge) is worshipped. Marriages take place here and after the marriage elaborate feasts are served in an adjacent building. Around the math, there are hermitages where the brahmacharis live who would later become the official preachers of Sree Narayana ideals. At the top of the hill one could see the Samadhi (tomb) of Sree Narayana Guru. Every year in December, grand festivals are conducted here that include literary seminars, classical music and dance recitals, religious debates and socio-political and cultural conventions.
Even when I was a child, my mother used to take me to attend these annual conventions. I loved to see those Sree Narayana devotees turning the township into a sea of yellow as the official clothe of Sree Narayana followers was yellow. My mother used to tell me stories about Guru and buy books written by and on him. Perhaps, I knew more about Sree Narayana Guru than about Gandhiji in those days. They had met in Sivagiri in 1925! A few paces away from the SN College and SN High School there was Gurukulam, established by Nataraja Guru, an eminent disciple of Sree Narayana Guru. Next to Sivagiri hill, on the top of another hill, Guru Nitya Chaitanya Yati, a disciple of Nataraja Guru, established an International University for integrated education. All in one place!
Sivagiri was an influence. Its calm, cool and mellowing atmosphere attracted me. I had Shibu Natesan to tell me stories about the SN High School where he studied, Manu, another friend who was an inmate of Gurukulam and Sree Sabin, who was an inmate of Sivagiri. While walking back from the college along with a stream of students who did not indulge in vandalism or eve teasing, I used to move away from them to go and sit at the Sarada Math. I had spent several hours there, at times reading, at times just watching people and some other times losing myself into deep contemplation and yet other times, looking at the small little gifts given to me by some girls in the form of a love letter or a mala. Sitting there I could see time passing in front of me.
Whenever I get time, during my short visits to Kerala, I try to go to Sivagiri. When my son was hardly two years old, I had taken him there. We took him to the top of the hill and let him on the sugar like sand. He giggled when he clutched at sand with both of his tender fists. I thought he was picking up some sense of harmony and tranquility which he was totally unaware of and perhaps would remember if he is reminded of it as grows up. Mundane life has distracted me a lot. I wish I could go and sit there under those mango trees at Sarada math or climb the hill and sit at the steps of Guru’s Samadhi.
But these actions would not be treated with piety. Today, Sree Narayana Guru is also a contested ideal. A man who had worked throughout his life to abolish castes and to reform the society, and a man who had consecrated a mirror for an idol or challenged the priests with his ‘Ezhava Shiva’ (Shiva of lower caste) is now converted into a god by his own disciples and his ideals into another ‘religion’ within the larger fold of Hindutva. He preached, ‘One Caste, One Religion, One God for man’, ‘Be wise by Education and be strong by Unity’, ‘Whatever one does should be for the betterment of others’ and so on. But his disciples say just the opposite. May be Sivagiri is in my mind, not out there.
